“Why does this keep happening to us?”

Holly Gennaro, Die Hard 2

Running 13.1 miles, with the sole aim of hitting a PB, bang in the middle of Summer, during a heatwave. Welcome to the Newcastle Half Marathon, next race on the Notbuilttorun 2025 Grand Tour of stupidity.

To be fair, when you sign up to any race between May and September in the UK, you’re asking for trouble. Our weather here is both predictable and unpredictable. It’s pretty boring and mundane mostly, but occasionally it does something where, we as a nation, let out a collective ‘holy shit.’

This weekends ‘holy shit’ comes in the form of another mini heatwave. Thankfully, this is the North East of England, so you can always minus off 5 degrees from the rest of the country.

But we’ll come back to the weather later.

So, the Newcastle Half. I’ve done this one before, last year, its debut year. It’s not very exciting if I’m honest. A long out and back along some ordinary looking country roads. It’s in the Newcastle Post Code, but doesn’t pass any points of interest. Apart from the Airport Runway. If that kind of thing floats your boat.

However, I’m not criticising or being a dick about it. It was really well organised and, as unexciting as the course was, I knew that it was perfect for a PB attempt.

Last year, I didn’t even entertain a PB. I entered solely as a favour to someone to help pace them to a 2:10 PB (mission accomplished). This year, I had the freedom to attack it, if I fancied it.

I do have the Great North Run in September. But it’s the biggest Half Marathon in the world, which also means the most congested Half Marathon in the world. It’s a Fun Run with 50k people in it. It’s like going to Tescos for your food shop three days before Christmas. Chaos.

But far more enjoyable than going to Tescos. Obviously.

No, if I want to use my Marathon fitness to score a PB, then doing this one is a no brainer. Local to me, a straightforward course, and with a field of only 800 runners. Plenty of space to put my foot down.

I said we would come back to the weather, so let’s get it out the way. Leading up to the weekend, they are predicting another heat wave for the UK. Even us peasants in the North East won’t escape. Early forecasts indicate it could be in the low 20s at the 9am start.

That’s not good. Thankfully, the good old North East coast has other ideas. By the Friday, it’s predicting that it will drop to a much more manageable cloudy 17c. Although it will ‘feel like 20c.’

I’ll take it.

True to its word, when I get up on Sunday, it’s noticeable cooler and the sky is a thick blanket of grey cloud. I’m not falling for that one though. The Sun is definitely going to pop its head out, and it’s definitely going to get warmer.

As such, I lather myself in sun cream, have a runners breakfast (the trusted Porridge, Banana and Protein bar combo) and I’m out the door to catch my old friend The Bastard Metro.

Remarkably, as I have to catch two of these to get to the Start, it doesn’t let me down. Miracles can and do happen. I’m at the Start with about 45 minutes to spare.

The Start (which will also be the Finish) is Kingston Park Rugby Stadium. Quick confession, I’ll watch and appreciate any Sport. The only big one I do neither with is Rugby. It’s like Roller Coasters to me. Does nothing. Leaves me dead inside. Each to their own though, it’s probably just me.

Rugby slagging aside, it’s a good venue, and one of the main reasons I think this is a well organised race. Clean and plentiful toilets, loads of room to sit, warm up, or just chill beforehand. If it did rain, we also have cover.

Baggage dumped, Banana and Gel consumed, and short warm up completed, the Start comes around in no time.

They have a good system for the Start here as well, that I remember from last time. They get Pacers to stand by the side of the Stadium with huge placards showing finishing times, and then ask you to stand in position, before leading everyone out in a procession to the Start. Clever.

It’s not completely perfect though. I stand between the 1:40 and 1:50 placards, next to two fairly loud girls who chat about how they’re hoping to get under 2:10. Which is all very commendable, don’t get me wrong – no criticism here. Except GO AND STAND IN THE SUB 2:10 PEN AS INSTRUCTED THEN. I needed to get that out, I’ve been bottling it up for days.

Time to head back for a weather check. It’s still cloudy – grey cloud – but it’s noticeable got quite humid. Something important to point out at this juncture – I’m not wearing my Club Vest. I know, outrageous. Two reasons for this.

Number one, I wanted to do this one incognito. Despite being a local race, very few of my club colleagues are interested in doing it. I think I saw two club vests. In fact, you see very few of any club vests. This very much feels like a non-club runners run.

Second reason, is the heat. I have a much more lightweight Puma vest that I wear for my summer weekend long runs that is far more airy, loose, and comfortable in the heat. As soon as there was a whiff of a heatwave, I made a decision I was going with it.

With the warmth and mugginess already being felt at 9am, it’s a good decision. The gun goes, and we’re off..

I mentioned at the start that this isn’t the sexiest of courses, and from the start we’re out onto a straight country road. I forgot to mention that there is also a 10k going on – they will all turn back at 3 mile (obviously) – so it’s difficult to gauge paces.

Having said that, the sub 1:50 pacer flies past me and moves ahead. Which is really not right, as I’ve started quite quick and am currently doing a sub 1:45 pace. He may just be a bit excited, or forgotten what he’s meant to be doing. Either way, if I was someone after a 1:50, I’d be pissed with him.

After about a mile, I pass him and never see him again. My first mile is a rather tidy 8:06. For reference, to hit my PB, I just need to come in under an 8:20 average pace. With one eye on the heat, my plan was to aim for around 8:10-8:15.

My next two miles are 7:59 and 8:00 respectively. So, I’m kind of fucking this up already. However, that’s because I’m not feeling the heat. At Mile 3 we lose the 10k runners, the field opens up, and I’ve settled into a rhythm.

At Mile 4 we take a sharp right turn, and for the next 2 miles we have a constant and steady climb. That’s reflected in my next times – an 8:05 and an 8:08. Still, nicely below my target time, and I cope with the hill with little problems. In fact, look how much I’m enjoying it.

We take another sharp right at mile 6, but we’re now going downhill for half a mile, before yet another sharp right. This is the halfway stage (good at maths me), so I take a gel.

We’ve now got a couple of miles of steady down hill, which has the opposite effect from the two we climbed, by giving me two 7:53s on mile 7 and 8.

Two quick lefts, and we’re back on the straight road that will take us to where we started. 4 miles left, but there are a couple of quick climbs to contend with in there.

Still, I seem to have really hit my stride now. Miles 9 and 10 are a 7:53 and a 7:54. I’m suddenly now very much aware that, barring any kind of disaster, I’m pretty much guaranteed a PB.

I come into civilianisation at Mile 10, the village of Dinnington, and I feel great. Aware of my time, I’m in good fettle, and the people that come out to cheer start to spur me on.

At 10.5 miles though, I feel the heat for the first time. The Sun has come out and it’s roasting. 2 and a half miles left, but I’m suddenly feeling the effort I’ve put in.

Despite this, I push on. Mile 11 turns out to be my fastest of the day – a 7:50. Mile 12, despite now feeling the heat, is a 7:55. I haven’t gone over an 8 minute mile since mile 6. At around the mile 12 mark, there is another official photographer, so I pretend to look like I’m pissing it.

We’re back in Kingston Park now, and it’s just a bit of road then into the Stadium for the finish. Mile 13 is a 7:52. More interestingly though, I clock that I’ve just hit 1:43:56. Hold the phone. I suddenly realise that sub 1:45, which I had no expectations of doing, is on.

So I put on the jets and see what I’ve got left. Surprisingly, quite a bit. I sprint finish, passing two other runners, and stop my watch on 1:44:50. Boom motherfuckers.

Well, what a turn up for the books that is. I came for a sub 1:50, I left with a sub 1:45. Whilst the weather behaved itself to a certain extent, and we didn’t get the heat a lot of the rest of the country was experiencing, it was still warm. And I’m usually shit when it’s warm.

Not today though.

I do feel knackered when I’m finished. I sit in the shade to take on fluids and eat some snacks. I then head straight off for the Metro and don’t have to wait long for either, meaning I’m back in the house before midday. Everything is coming up Milhouse.

That’s it. Every distance, from 5k to Marathon, I have set a PB in this year. I still have more races planned to see out the year, but I’m done with PB slaying. It’s fun running from now on.

Next up, I’m off on Holiday to the South of France, and my running gear will be coming with me. You wouldn’t expect anything less.