
“Michael Jackson didn’t come over to my house to use the bathroom. But his sister did!”
Chunk – The Goonies
Wooooh, we’re half way there! Wooooh-oooooh, I hate fucking Bon Jovi! No, as I tell my teenage daughter, hate is a strong word. You should never ‘hate’ anything. Except Bon Jovi. They are shite. Whoops, there go the Bon Jovi fans. Flouncing off with the Vegan Runners I imagine.
I jest, I’m a lover not a fighter. Come back. I’m married to a Vegetarian. It’s bantz. The point I’m making, and there is one I promise, is that we’re in Week 8. The halfway point. And I feel..ok. It’s been as hard as I was warned, but I don’t feel as broken as I thought I might.
The week also starts quite well. My daughter gets into the school she and we wanted her to get into, which is fantastic, as I didn’t fancy starting the day having to console a teenager. I also discover that I’ve misread the Plan this week, and that I don’t have to do another 20 miler at the weekend. I only have to do 19. Great.
That bombshell aside, in the evening I do my usual Yoga and Weights sessions, feeling strong, with seemingly no ill effects from the weekend.
Boring weather klaxon! Spring seems to have sprung, with all week set to be dry, sunny, and sitting at 10c during the days. Pass me the sunscreen and my mankini.
Tuesday is the club Grand Prix. I’m unsure how fast my legs will allow me to go for this one, but I do know one thing for certain – after my cluster fuck in the last one, I’ll be tying my shoelaces tighter than a knot in Madam Helga’s House of Pain. So I’ve heard.
The Grand Prix course is about 3.5 miles, so the plan is 5 miles easy warm up, race like the wind, cool down easy 1.5 miles back home. Up until the day, I have no idea what my handicap is for this one. I’m expecting it to be more favourable than last time out. Due to being a tool who can’t tie shoelaces, I lost time and places.
In the end, it’s 15:30, which gives me 2 minutes back on my last one. There are also less beasts in my group, but still lots of fast bastards. The 5 mile warm up is, yet again, a tired and ploddy ballache.
I don’t actually fancy this run. I say that every time I do the Grand Prix, but this time I have a feeling. Due to roadworks the course is changing – two laps of the Prom basically – and I dislike (as hate is a strong word, remember) laps.

I get away quick enough, a couple of my group fly off, but I leave the rest behind. This is as good as it gets however. All the fast people who would probably catch me anyway, seem to catch me really early. Also, I don’t seem to be overtaking anyone. At all.
This continues for the rest of the race. It feels like EVERYONE passes me. I think by the end, I might go past half a dozen people at best. I’m off the clock as I’ve just continued on with my 5 mile warm up on my watch, but afterwards Strava credits me with a 23:20 5k. That’s 47 seconds slower than my PB I set only 3 months ago.
That’s to be expected though. I’m tired. I’m knackered. I’m fucked. I slowed down in the last Grand Prix in February, where I did a 23:16 5k. I really don’t have too much of a problem with it, this time last year I would have killed for a sub 24 min 5k, so to still be hitting them with Marathon legs is nothing to be sniffed at.
However, my Strava is alight with PBs and quick times galore from fellow club runners who claim the change in course made it ideal for fast running. So under normal circumstances, this may have been a great chance for potentially ducking under 23 mins.
Ah well, tough shit.
Never mind. At least my Handicap should be better next time out. Glass half full and all that. On to Wednesday!
Wednesday is also quite an important day at work this week. I’ve been working on a Project since just before Christmas, and will be delivering a presentation on it at lunch time. That in itself has been a Marathon, so I don’t want to fuck it up.
In the end…it goes really well. And it truly is a metaphor for the Marathon. I immersed myself in it, put in all the graft, then when it came to the actual event, I nailed it. Deep and philosophical, or potentially nonsensical bollocks. You decide.
I don’t realise until I head out for my 6 mile easy that evening, but my legs are shot. My knees are sore, my legs are really tired, I am fucked. Who’s a clever shite for running a 23:20 5k now, eh dipshit?
It’s an absolute slog. No autopilot this week. It’s parachuted with the drinks trolley. Afterwards, my feet are so tired, they’re vibrating. Can’t wait for Intervals tomorrow. Should be a hoot!
There is some good news about Thursdays intervals though. I hadn’t read the details, other than that it was 4×2 miles. So I hadn’t realised that, instead of the usual Threshold pace, these need to be completed at Marathon pace. So, much gentler. Get in!
Slight problem here though. I still don’t know what my Marathon pace is. It’s anywhere between 9 to 9:40 min miles. That’s quite a range. I decide to aim for 9 min. That feels like it would be productive, without breaking me. And it will be over quicker.
This goes..really well. Maybe it’s the relief from thinking it was going to have to be quicker. I also mix it up much more than before on the route. First few Intervals on the Sainsburys Loop, then the next one round the local estate, then the last one down on the Prom. It comes to just over 10 miles in total, and I feel quite good when I finish.

I’m going to do an Easy 4 with Hill Reps on the Friday evening, rest on Saturday, long run Sunday morning.
The Easy 4 I’m also going to mix up. I head out on the Metro to Tynemouth as my starting point. I’m not being a lazy shit though. It’s only 3 Stations away, but running to it would make this over a 6 mile run, which is too long.
My hill reps are going to be on a proper hill tonight, the one that runs beside the abandoned Priory. 1300 years ago, this was a defensive structure put in by the Monks to keep the Vikings out. Sadly, it didn’t work, and they were all slaughtered. Just like those Vikings, I’m flying up this tonight. Less violently, granted. I feel great actually. Too good even.

Hills completed, I have a nice steady easy plod back along the sea front to home. I don’t feel tired, I don’t feel like I’m on autopilot, I feel comfortable. I’m in a good place before a decent rest day tomorrow and big run Sunday.
Sunday isn’t exactly going to be tropical, but between 6am-9am (when I’ll be out) it will be dry, sunny, calm, and a pleasant 7 degrees. Therefore, I’ll be ditching the base layer and the gloves.
The 19 miles is basically the 20 miler I did last week, but with the head of the snake cut off. As in, I’ll be knocking the mile off by missing out the sea front at the start.
Having now completed 18 miles (twice) and a 20 miler, 19 doesn’t give me ‘the fear’ it might have done 2 months ago. However, I also know it would be pretty stupid/naive of me to think I can just pop out for a 19 mile run and it be a piece of piss.
The mindset must be to respect the distance, keep doing all the good things around preparation, fuelling and so on. That’s how I approach Sunday. I’d be an idiot or an arrogant prick to think anything otherwise.
True to my word, I’m out the door for 6:30am, gels and jelly babies stuffed in my rather dashing man belt.

Remember earlier when I say it was going to be dry and sunny? Well, I step outside into thick fog everywhere. It’s one of the ‘perks’ of living by the coast. We get this soup that rolls in off the sea. Personally, I love running when we have fog. Especially when we get the summer sea fret type. It cools things down, and it also means there is no wind. However, it does mean it’s colder than I thought, but I stubbornly refuse to wear the layers and the gloves.
The first 5-6 miles are a bit leggy. Not sure why. But again, I never reach the point of feeling completely knackered or wanting to stop. The training weeks are doing their job.
Even though I run inland, the fog never lifts, staying fairly thick. At mile 9, I suddenly feel like I’ve run myself into it, and the next 10 miles I up the pace slightly. I remember in Murakami’s book, he talks about how he’s a slow starter. How he just can’t get going for the first few miles, then suddenly it just clicks. Kindred souls we are.
In the end, I complete 19.28 miles in 3:00:52, at an average pace of 9:23. That’s the same pace as the 20 miler last week. Have I finally found my Marathon pace? Maybe.

It’s another morale boosting week, with a productive long run to end it on. Next week we’re heading into the realms of the unknown yet again, the 22 mile zone. It’s also going to be my first ‘life gets in the way’ week, where I’ll be moving the plan about a bit.
Still, we’ll be past the half way point now, another milestone passed. We’ve got this.
Mood: Hanging in there.




































