“You don’t have to beat me, Michael. You just have to try and keep up”

David, The Lost Boys

Last week, someone called me ‘ripped.’ Yes, yes, they were pissed as a fart when they said it, barely able to focus and clutching what was in all probability their 8th or 9th pint.

The point is though, off their face or not, the sentiment was there. They are completely wrong though. Whilst I have certainly dropped some weight in the last 3 months, the only thing that is even remotely ‘ripped’ on my body is potentially one of my groins.

Still, it’s nice to get your morale boosted by drunks heading into Week 12. I have to say though, mentally and physically I feel fairly good. My knee seems to have settled down. It still clicks like a jazz singers fingers, but it hasn’t got any worse. Touch wood..

My Monday Weights session for example is the first one in a while where I don’t even notice my knee. I’m feeling stronger in these Core sessions also. I’m still not ripped though.

Tuesday is Grand Prix night, and it’s the last one of the season. This one is usually slightly longer, 5 miles, but due to ongoing work down the sea front, it’s going to be the same course as last time. So, two laps of the Prom, 3.4 miles.

At the last Grand Prix, I had a shitter. The slowest I’d run one in a while, with every man, woman, child, animal, passing me. Now we’re deep into Marathon training, I’m expecting same again. My Handicap is also a stinker – 18:30 – despite my poor show last time.

So on paper, not looking great. My 5 mile warm up doesn’t help matters, it’s shite and ploddy. At least the weather is ok. Slight head wind on the section heading South, but dry and actually light!

As I finish my warm up, for some reason, a voice in my head tells me to take off the shackles and go balls out. Stupid voices.

Can’t back out now though. So, right from the off, I just go for it. Early on I know this is going to be ok if I can keep up the pace. Only a couple of people have passed me after the first lap, far less than last time out.

I do get caught by some of the speed merchants in the second lap, but I’m keeping pace and happy with how it’s going. I’m right to be, I end up doing a 22:48 5k, my second fastest ever. Well, slap me sideways.

Unfortunately though, due to their being a match in the evening, my Wednesday easy 6 miles will have to be first thing in the morning. That will be the morning after a 10 miler, 5k of which was fast. What a slog this is. I don’t even think I can feel my legs last couple of miles. Even my playlist shuffle mocks me, when this comes on. Honest.

Thursday, my favourite day of the week. Can you feel the sarcasm just oozing out of that sentence. This one, is an absolute stinker. 4 x 3 miles at Threshold pace. Jesus wept. I hate this run just looking at it.

With warm up, this is basically going to be a fast Half Marathon with 3 lots of 2 min rests every 5k ish. I’m going to treat it like a long run therefore, and run a ‘route’, rather than just repeat the same streets.

Now it’s Week 12, I’m like a war vet. In the first few weeks of Threshold sessions, I was constantly looking at my pace and my Heart Rate. Bollocks to that now.

I therefore stick a finger in the air and plump for an 8:20 pace. A minute a mile faster than target Marathon Pace, but not eyeballs out. The route itself will be into the local estate, round that, join the Wagonway, follow that to the end, down to the sea front, back along the coast, then finishing in my street. If I’ve done my calculations right. Spoiler alert: I haven’t.

2.5 miles into my first 3 miles, I’m come into Holywell Dene. Always a highlight of running on the Wagonway (except when it’s muddy) but as I climb a small incline here I get a sharp pain in my right knee, enough for me to give out an audible ‘ow you fucker.’

The irony of worrying about injuring my left knee, only for my right one to suddenly be knackered, is not lost on me. Miraculously, it doesn’t bother me for the rest of the run, or even after it. I don’t know or care what it was, as long as it now fucks right off.

I complete my first two 3 milers at a good pace. Probably a little too fast to be honest. As such, the last two are brutal. This turns out to be the hardest session in all of the 12 weeks so far. The last 3 miles I am dead on my feet.

As alluded to earlier, I also balls up my finish. I’ve still got a mile left to run, yet I’m only around half a mile from home. The thought of going round in circles on my street is soul destroying. So I take a right back down to the sea front. I finish, it’s a half marathon exactly, and I am shattered.

There is therefore no way I’m getting up early on Friday for my 4 easy miles with hill reps. No fucking chance. Instead, I head out at lunchtime. Strangely though, I feel great. My hill reps are strong. By the Friday evening though, the tiredness hits me again. Thankfully, I’ve got Saturday as a rest day. I need it.

Sunday’s long run is 20 miles. I’ve also heard on the grapevine that next weeks will be another 20, then it’s taper time baby! With that in mind, I’m going to try a new route for this one.

There are actually a number of good training reasons for the new route. Now we’ve had a spell of dry weather, the Wagonways and dirt tracks are mud free and runnable for the first time this year. The route also includes a section with a subtle 3-4 mile climb, which will be a test, but one I think I need.

Finally, call me a sloppy bastard, but I my last biggie next week to be my usual route. A sort of celebration run, saying thanks and goodbye to the route that has helped me get to where I am. I know, it’s ridiculous.

I now have a solid Marathon plan as well. Set off at 9:20 pace, try and maintain it. That seems achievable, and would give me a 4:04 finishing time.

First 10 miles, all goes to plan. I feel pretty strong on the climb section as well. The second 10 miles goes even better, I seem to settle into a pace that is round the 9 min mark.

I finish and complete 20.25 miles, in 3:06:02, which is a 9:11 pace. I am slightly knackered at the end, but again not completely shattered.

This is great, but also bad. 9:11 pace, if I could sustain it for another 10k, would give me a 4:00:47 finish. 48 seconds off breaking 4 hours.

That’s tempting. Very tempting. Too tempting. Bollocks.

Mood: Conflicted.

“Always Separate the drugs”

Mouth – The Goonies

The second week of February. That’s almost Spring. It’s not, but by Christ I wish it was. A quick check of the weather this week throws up the same old same old. Cold and wet.

The weekend, especially the Sunday, we have Sleet forecast. Fucking Sleet. That’s not even proper weather. So I’m already scratching my chin and playing a game of ip-dip-dogs-shit with whether I do my 18 miler on Saturday or Sunday. I’ll decide nearer the time. As long as we don’t get another of those Storms with shit names. Jinx.

Monday morning and the knees are a bit stiff, but no lasting effects from yesterday, which is a good sign. It’s a long Yoga and then Weights day, and both I think go well. The Yoga tonight is my kind of session – sun salutations and stretching. Continuing on from last week, the Weights session is also positive.

It might just be muscle memory or just knowing the routine, but there’s no doubt I’m getting into the routine of it now and feeling stronger.

Whilst the symptoms of my cold have gone, other than a slight sniffle, I’m currently in that ‘Cold Hangover’ stage. Does anyone else get these? I find, certainly post pandemic, that I might get a cold for 5 days, but then for a week after that I feel like shite. Not awful, just like I’m working off 70%.

That’s how I feel on Tuesday. The good thing about today is that it’s a Track speed session at the club, and it’s also fairly short – 10 x 400m Reducers. So, run a lap, rest for 60 seconds. Do another one, rest for 55 seconds, and so on.

As it’s short, my warm up will be slightly longer. I head out for 5 miles, finishing at the Track, then a mile with the group. It’s a tired 5 mile I’ll be honest. I’m also feeling my left knee a bit, my first niggle since my old grumbling Achilles injury popped up a couple of weeks ago.

Just like the previous weeks, once I start the speed session, I feel a lot better. Like I wake up. I complete the set at a fairly decent pace, followed by a couple of cool down laps. 9 and a bit miles for the evening, that’ll do.

Wednesday evening I’m off out for a curry and a couple of pints, so I’m up early for my 6 easy miles. As expected, the legs are a bit heavy after last night, but I feel like my body is learning to run tired, which hopefully means the training is taking effect. The weather, again, is a bit miserable. There’s no let up in that cold wind coming in from the sea, but I’m trying to be glass half full about it. At least we don’t have any Storms and ice. That’s another jinx.

Thursdays Intervals session is going to be a little longer than the last few weeks. 4×2 miles Intervals, with 2 minutes recovery jogs in between, then a short cool down home. So, about 10 miles in total.

I get out on my 10 min warm up and notice already that my heart rate is a little high for a slow jog. Not a good sign. Once I start the actual Intervals, it goes proper tits up and stays that way the whole session.

My HR is very high threshold and keeps tripping over to max, meaning I have to keep the pace slow, really slowing down when it goes max to get it back on track. Since I started training 5 weeks ago, this is definitely the shittest run I’ve done. Not shit in that I feel tired or in pain, I feel great, but frustrating shit. Why do I have a high HR when I feel fine and this isn’t that taxing a session. Fucks sake.

When I get back I’m grumpy, but soon get over it. It’s just one of those things. Ultimately, I felt good, and even though my pace was probably too slow, I stuck with Threshold and did it properly. Park it and crack on.

I haven’t got long to sulk over it. Friday morning I’m up early for my easy 4 miles with hill reps. There is definitely something going on with my left knee. I’m not in pain or anything, I’ve just got a ‘sensation’ in it. Difficult to say really. Enough for me to decide early into this run that I’ll take my rest day tomorrow.

At least when I get down to the sea front for my hill reps it’s finally calm. First day of no wind in what feels like forever. My hill reps are a bit leggy, but it’s a nice run, other than my paranoia about my knee.

A check of the weekend weather shows that whilst Saturday is going to be cold and icy early doors, Sunday isn’t. That works out quite well, gives me an excuse to rest the knee for 48 hours before having a crack at 18 miles early Sunday.

Being wary of my knee and its weird sensation, I top up my Travel card on Saturday. My route never takes me too far from a Metro station, so if the worst should happen, I can limp to one of those and get home. I know this sounds pessimistic, but disaster recovery and all that. Prepare for the worst and hope for the best.

I’m very philosophical about getting injured during this process. Whilst I’d be gutted, it was always a risk for a 45 year old with knees that have taken so much stick over the years. I did wonder how the old injuries would hold up. To be fair, I’ve covered 30 miles in 4 days, 2 of those days were 10 milers. Bits of my body have every right to complain. Guess we’ll find out Sunday anyway.

Saturday I do something very rare for me – I have a lie in. I say lie in, I just don’t set my alarm to get up early, much to the relief of my wife. As our daughter is a teenager now, we are truly blessed that we don’t have to get up early at a weekend. In fact, it’s usually me that’s up much earlier than the other two, crashing about. I’m like the toddler of the house.

The weather also is not as bad as they predicted. Tomorrow morning will now be dull, a bit cold (4 degrees) with light rain and a gentle breeze. I will take that all day.

So, onto Sunday. I’m up and out by 6:30am again. I’m getting used to this now, and I ‘d rather just get out before I think about it too much. This will be the longest run I’ve ever done – in distance and in time. This is 18 miles at a slow pace, so if it all goes to plan I could be on my feet for 2 hours 55 or thereabouts.

It’s the same route as my 16 miler with a slight modification. I’m going to drop on the sea front at the start a bit later than usual, cos I’m a bit bored of it. The other change will be that I turn slightly later, then rejoin my usual route home. That will add on the extra 2 miles. Sounds simple.

My knee is…ok. I am shitting myself about it a bit. Once I start though, it’s fine. Like there is nothing wrong. No twinges, no pain. I set out at a leisurely pace and, as every fucking week, when I hit the coast there’s wind and rain coming off the sea. Course there is.

Thankfully, as predicted, once I turn inland it all stops and we’re calmer. It’s also not as cold as previous weeks. Hopefully a sign of things to come as we creep towards Spring.

The rest of the run goes well, this is a nice comfortable pace and I never feel uncomfortable. This is also a nice recce for fuelling. I’m taking on Gels now at the points I plan to during the Marathon, as well as munching on some Jelly Babies. I’m not a fan of Hydration Vests, instead favouring what we used to call as kids a ‘Bum Bag.’

This sits nicely round my waist, doesn’t weigh me down, and I’ll able to fit in all of my Gels and Jelly Babies. I love it when a plan comes together.

I do feel a bit meh at around 11-12 miles, but I think this is probably just temporary boredom. I’m cutting through a plain estate (sorry locals!) before joining the Wagonway. Once I’m on that, my mojo returns.

My last 5 miles though are a bit quicker, and I finish feeling pretty good having done 18.29 miles in a time of 2:56:45. Bang on what I wanted at a comfortable 9:39 pace.

I am tired when I get in, but I’ve just run 18 miles so I’d be shocked if I wasn’t. Another milestone hit, another big boost physically and mentally. Next week’s long run is to be a faster 16 miler. I’m tempted to have a go at doing that at low 9 minute pace. I’m feeling confident that I could, but don’t want to get overconfident and fuck up all the good work I’ve done so far. See how I feel at the end of the week.

Not a bad week. The knee is still something I need to keep an eye on, but if I can get through the next 3 weeks unscathed, the Marathon goal will be within grasp.

Mood: Cautious