training

The Marathon Training Blog: Week 3

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“Who wants an Orange Whip? Orange Whip? Orange Whip? Three Orange Whips!”

Burton Mercer, The Blues Brothers

WEEK 3: JAN 27TH – FEB 2ND

It’s week 3 already, and I feel like I’m into the routine of this now. I haven’t yet hit the ‘ah shit, kill me now’ phase, which will inevitably rear its head at some point.

Everything this week will be the same but different. Same routine, different distances. I’m also pondering changing my big run to early Saturday, instead of Sunday. I’m 80% certain I will at this point, but I’ve got a few days to make my mind up. Or change it several times.

Monday, I wake up feeling pretty good. I’m finding I’m going through a phase of sleeping really well. Probably because I’m fucking knackered running 40 plus mile weeks.

I do my Yoga class but it’s a struggle this week. Thankfully, everyone else in the class also finds it hard work, which makes me feel a bit better/less woe is me.

I start my Weights session and again I’m not really feeling it. However, the longer it goes on, the better I feel. I’m starting to get used to the reps and the intensity. Telling you, I’ll be oiling up and posing like a roided up 80s wrestler before you know it.

Tuesday is Speed night. Not the film. It would give me no greater pleasure than to sit through Keanu and Sandra keep that bus above 50mph, but instead its Track night. And it’s Bonder…Bondra…Bondarenkos.

I actually really like Bondarenkos. 400m fast, 400 jog, 300 fast, 300 jog, 200 fast, 200 jog, 100 eye balls out. Rinse and repeat 3 times. I say I like them, but usually I don’t have to do a 4 mile warm up beforehand.

The real Bondarenko

The session is named after 1988 Olympic 10k Gold Medalist Olga Bondarenko. Her coach devised this session to help her improve her speed. It’s fair to say it worked, it knocked 2 minutes off her PB and she took the gold at Seoul.

Although, Russian athlete, 1980s, possibly has a tinge of dodgy to it. Nevertheless, it’s seen as hugely beneficial for distance runners, and is actually Paula Radcliffe’s favourite training session. And if it’s good enough for Paula, then who am I to argue?

I do my 4 mile warm up, then a slower chattier 1 miler when I get to the club. As mentioned, I usually quite like this session, but I can tell straight away that I’m going to be off the pace tonight. Not massively, it’s just going to be hard work.

By the third set I’m definitely feeling it, but that is kind of the point and the reason there is a longish warm up. Tonight is not just about getting a speed session in, it’s also about teaching my body to run when fatigued.

I get through it, and I’ve knocked off 9 miles in total for the evening. I am knackered when I get home though. The first time since I started 3 weeks ago that I’ve felt it in my legs after a session. I’m sure it won’t be the last.

Wednesday morning I wake up and I’m still feeling it a bit. The legs are just a little bit heavier. I do a short Sun Salutation session to try and help wake everything up. I have a 6 mile easy run to do today, although this can be a rest day if I want. I’ll see how I feel later.

How do I feel later? Well, much better. I head out and really enjoy it. I’m starting to get into slow, easy running. As long as I’ve got my Bone Conductors in and some good music or podcasts playing then it’s all good.

Tonight my shuffle knocks out some good stuff that I’m in the mood for. Radiohead, The Smiths, The Pixies, Belle and Sebastian, Stone Roses, The Charlatans, Pulp. It’s like my 90s Teenage Indie playlist has returned for a nostalgic one night only reform. I complete my 6 down on the Prom and give myself a pat on the back.

Ice cream anyone?

Thursday we’re back to the most testing session of the week for me – Threshold Intervals. This week it’s slightly changed again, 6 x 1 mile intervals. I’m going to stick with the local estate loop I did last week. It seemed to work well, so if it ain’t broke..

I wake up feeling a bit stiff again on Thursday, and my old friend the dodgy Achilles is also having a little grumble. I’m convinced that if anything will stop me doing the Marathon, it’ll be that prick.

I’m out early evening and I feel quite good. I start the first mile and already my pace is faster than last week, while my heart rate stays in threshold. In fact, this continues for all 6 miles of the session.

In da Zone

I find this the easiest and, dare I say it, the most enjoyable Interval session of the three I’ve completed so far. Surprisingly good, surprisingly painless. Beautiful.

Friday is 4 easy and some hill reps. I head along and back down to the sea front for this one. There is a fairly steep slope that heads down to the lower prom, and this is the ‘hill’ they would like us to attack. No Storm Shithead this week, so I can brave going down there without the threat of being swept out to sea.

I’m not as tired or as stiff as I think I will be when I wake up. I’m not looking forward to the hills, but actually, when I get to them, I feel quite strong. It’s a nice morning as well, and I complete my 4 miles on the beach. Because why not.

Life’s a beach

Friday night I do some core strength and have an early night, ready to ‘attack’ those 16 miles early doors on Saturday.

So to Saturday. I’m up at 5:30am and I feel..good. I got plenty of sleep and have definitely benefited from the early night. I’m a little nervous about this run. It’s only 2 miles more than I completed quite comfortably a couple of weeks ago, but it feels like quite an important one mentally.

16 miles is starting to verge into Marathon territory. If I can get through this run, at a nice easy consistent pace, and feel ok at the end of it, then it’ll be a huge confidence booster.

I’m aiming for around 9:40 pace here, slightly slower than my target Marathon pace of 9:30. I’m out the door for 6:20am and away. I head down the sea front and there’s a bit of a cold head wind for this first 5k.

I turn inland though and this disappears. I soon get into a nice rhythm, hitting my pace, sitting on a high aerobic/low threshold heart rate.

It’s pretty flat (and lovely and quiet) until just short of 10 miles, when I have to climb out of Wallsend Burn. I knew there was a bit of a hill here, short but steep, but I push through it. Then I’ve got a gradual climb for a mile or so, after which it’ll be either fairly flat or downhill for the home stretch of the last 5.

At 11 mile I take a gel, still feeling good, and notice my heart rate jumps to low max. I’ll be honest, this pisses me off a bit. I feel good, I’ve been keeping the low pace, but just can’t seem to get it back down, even when I slow down a bit. For the last 5 miles, it jumps between high threshold and low max. Still though, I feel fine. I’m not tired, I’m not begging for this to end, I’m not uncomfortable in any way.

I finish back where I started, 16.2 miles and 2 hours and 37 minutes later, and I feel great. In fact, I’m absolutely fucking delighted. When I check my Heart Rate, I note it went into max for 25 minutes of that. Something to keep an eye on, but not something that is going to keep me awake at night.

Just the 9.8 left to find

Regardless of that HR issue, this has gone well. I’ve hit a big milestone and proved to myself that I can comfortably run 62% of a Marathon. I’m no cocky bastard though. Next week will see another 16 miler. I’ll be less nervous of that one, more confident in fact, but I’ll approach it slow and steady and concentrate on keeping that HR down.

Week 3 done, a good week. I started with a touch of tiredness and fearing that this could be the first shit week. I finish it though feeling confident I’m heading in the right direction going into week 4.

Mood: Relief

The Marathon Training Blog: Week 1

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“It’s 106 miles to Chicago. We’ve got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark, and we’re wearing sunglasses.”

Elwood Blues, The Blues Brothers

So, it begins. I know. Another wanker chronicling his Marathon training. Big wow. Bore off. I get it, I don’t blame you. This one, the first one, will also be the longest. I’m really not selling this.

However, for my own sanity I’ve decided to record how training is going. When it’s good, when it’s shit, when I feel like I’ve made a huge mistake.

Getting it down on ‘paper’ I’m hoping will help the process. It’s a chance for me to take a breath and reflect, maybe give myself a potentially much needed ra-ra speech.

Most importantly of all, I’m hoping I’ll be able to look back at these when it’s all over and laugh. Even at the parts where I’m blatantly crying for help.

My coach at the club is sending across my plan in 4 week blocks. The idea being, I don’t look ahead to week 9 now and shit myself. It’s a good strategy. I like it. My original plan with the blogs was to make them 4 weekly, but halfway through week 2 I noticed I was writing a novel. So, weekly it will be.

There’s your foreword, now let’s get cracking.

WEEK 1: JAN 13TH – 19TH

If ever there was a reminder that this is going to be far simpler on paper than reality, then welcome to Week 1. I have picked one of the shittest weeks to start training.

Usually, my life is pretty boring and routine focused, which is absolutely fine by me. I’ve massively cut down my alcohol consumption over the past few years, so other than a match day I’m not one for popping to the pub with my cat and a copy of the Racing Post.

This week though.

The lead up to the week is also not as I planned. I pop out for my usual long run on Saturday morning, my last before I switch to a Sunday. I decide to go out on a bang and try a Half. We’re in a cold snap, and there’s a ground frost, but all very runnable.

I get on the Wagonway and I feel great. My pace is pretty good, and mentally this is going to set me up nicely for the weeks ahead. I leave the Wagonway at Percy Main and, suddenly, everything changes. It’s a little bit slippier. It appears to have turned from frost into ice.

I head into Shields and this is getting worse, to the point where I’ve moved onto the roads. Although, they aren’t much better.

Then it happens.

I feel my feet go and I slide majestically on my arse along the path. I’m not hurt at all. I actually did this gracefully and quite magnificently if I don’t say so myself. The biggest plus though, is that there is no one around to see it.

I decide to continue running but to slow down. Round the corner, a car has skidded into the side of a truck. Everyone is ok, but it’s now obvious that there is black ice everywhere. I run on a little bit further, but after another close arse falling call at just shy of 9 miles, I call the whole thing off. I’m only three stops from home on the Metro so, safety first, I tip toe to the Station.

Disappointing, but these things happen. Hilariously, on my way to the Metro, a lady walking her dog slips. I go to check she’s ok, and she is, but then her dog bites me. Right on the fucking thigh. She’s very apologetic, but it absolutely knacks. Whilst it doesn’t draw blood, and I am wearing shorts and tights which probably help cushion it, it does leave quite a mark and a bruise.

It’s just not my morning.

Monday though starts well enough. Mondays are going to be ‘rest days.’ When I say rest, I mean no running. Instead, I have to work on my core strength. I already do a 30 minute online Yoga session every Monday evening. For the next 16 weeks, I’ll be adding on a 30 min weights session straight after.

I found a great ‘Runners Core Strength’ workout on the Nike App which I tried during the Christmas break. It was hard work but good work. Seeing as my upper body strength is as weak as a kitten, anything that involves weights is hard to me. I plan to also do this set on a Friday evening. I’ll be jacked like the Ultimate Warrior by May man.

Tuesday’s are going to be my only Club session of the week. I’ll be missing Thursdays and off doing Thresholds somewhere else. Tuesday is also my only speed session where I’m allowed to run fast. The biggest difference is going to be that I have to do a 3-4 mile warm up beforehand.

Surprisingly though, I really enjoy this first higher mileage Tuesday. I do a nice 3 mile plod and finish at the club, do another mile with everyone else, then a 400m rep session on the track. This is actually the best Track session I’ve had in months. I feel really strong. If every Tuesday is like this I’ll be delighted.

Wednesday is the start of where it gets a bit ‘complicated.’ I’m off to the match in the evening, so I get up to do my session pre work in the morning. It’s a 5 mile easy run. I’m not very good at ‘easy’ runs. I find it a bit of a slog, probably caused by not having the recovery time. But needs must.

Early Thursday I’m on a train to Scotland for work. It’s a team catch up and meal, but I’ve already decided that I’m not going to drink. What a boring bastard.

Thursdays are possibly going to be the most painful run of the week – Intervals. For this first session, I have to hit 10 x 4 min threshold intervals, with 2 min recoveries between. That can be a static rest, walk, or jog.

I know Glasgow fairly well now, so I’ve already planned where to complete this. Down by the Clyde, there is a perfect rectangular route that I can do, crossing two bridges. Clear, not many pedestrians, no roads to cross. Perfect.

Intervals are probably my least favourite training sessions. They feel like they go on forever. This one is no different. The route does turn out to be as perfect as I thought it would be, but it’s a slog on my own. I jog the recoveries, I find static recoveries don’t help me.

Intervals by the Clyde.

Friday morning I’m up early and outside the hotel by 6am. I need to complete 4 easy miles, with 10 x 10 second hills somewhere during it. The hotel is right next to a hill, so I decide to get those hills out the way early. They actually feel ok. The 4 easy miles though really are easy. I’m knackered. I head out to Celtic Park and back, then have the good old Premier Inn buffet breakfast. Burp.

Paradise

Saturday I’m back home and it’s a change of routine I’ll need to get used to. No long runs on a Saturday. Instead, it’s a 5k threshold. I then go to the match, where Newcastle are utter shite, and like a good lad curtail my drinking as I know it’s long run time tomorrow.

Sunday morning is cold and icy. Bollocks. The cold I’ll deal with, the ice though can fuck right off. It’s a baptism of fire, as I have to do 14 miles at aerobic pace. At this juncture, I’m still not 100% sure what I’m aiming for Marathon time wise. I mean, my plan is set around a time, but I think I’ve been overly cautious.

Nevertheless, I go out for my slow 14 and the first 6 miles are a struggle mentally. I feel like I’m going at a glacial pace and that this is going to take forever. Those 6 miles seem to tick over slowly, even though my pace is actually slightly faster than it probably should be. Learning to slow down will come I’m sure, but early doors it’s hard getting my head around it.

The last 7 miles or so are ok though. I’ve settled into it, avoided most of the awful ice, and I finish up in 2:15. Not too shabby. I feel great as well, like I didn’t push myself hard, and when I finished I more than felt like I could have gone on.

Week one done.

Mood – optimistic

The Great North Run 2024

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“I’m fine, okay? I mean, as fine as someone who’s hurtling toward a gruesome death can be”

Max Mayfield, Stranger Things

That’s right, I’m playing catch up. Again. Its been MANIC. It’s fair to say I’ve probably never been busier. Personally, professionally, and runningally. Yes, I’m aware I posted the Kielder review in July, even though it took place last October. Only God can judge me you bunch of bastards. The plan is that the 2024 Christmas Special will cover most of this year’s running journey. In the true spirit of the season, this update will be ‘bumper’ and include some special guest stars. Only one part of that statement is true.

In the meantime, whilst you’re licking your lips at that prospect, let’s have a good old fashioned Race Review. It’s Great North Run 2024 time. Cue Local Hero.

I have reviewed the GNR quite a few times now and run it even more than that. 13 times now to be precise. The only one I’ve missed since 2011 is the one everyone missed, the Plague hit 2020 one. I ran that one Virtually on the day though, so let’s claim 14 if I really want to be one of those wankers.

I didn’t review it last year. The reason for that was that I paced someone who was running it for the first time. It was their story to tell, I was just their wing man, so I decided to take a fallow year. However, the one thing I will say about the 2023 GNR is this; for the first time in ages, I actually really enjoyed it.

Yes, I know, I was pacing someone who was running a 2:20 half. That’s 25 minutes slower than my usual target. However, I genuinely wasn’t arsed about my time. The goal was to help them hit 2:20 and finish not only their first GNR, but also their first Half. In the end, we got over in 2:21. Considering the heat, that was a cracking effort.

The big take away though was the aforementioned enjoyment. I’d started to lose a bit of my love for it in past years. It was also starting to become a bit of an effort. I would train for it but then struggle on the day, get a bit bored of it as an event and a course. Last year though, I think I got the whole essence of it again. It’s a Fun Run. Have fun. And I did.

Now that’s all well and good when you’re running with someone. I had taken all the pressure off myself to hit my Par time or better, so of course I was having fun. Going back to running it on my own was going to be different gravy. Therefore, my plan for the GNR 2024 was simple. Run it comfortably and enjoy it. Easy right? Let’s find out.

Training for this years GNR has gone well. Very well. As you’ll find out in the Christmas Special, 2024 so far has been a Lazarus running year. I’ve PBd the shit out of everything. My fitness has increased, I’m carrying less timber, I’m running quicker. So, the signs are good. A month before the GNR I do my last ‘big’ training run and decide to do the full 13.1. I feel great and smash out a 1:50:24 PB. For context, that’s 5 or 6 minutes faster than my Half times the year before. I wasn’t lying when I said this had been a good year.

In the interests of the ‘fun’ and ‘enjoy’ bit I was going on about, I decide that I won’t be trying to hit that 1:50 pace again. Instead, my plan is to go out and run at a nice comfortable 1:55 pace. Nowt daft. Train hard, run easy.

So, to the day. You may remember my rant about the 2022 start, which they colossally fucked up. That year, they decided it was a really good idea to put everyone on the Town Moor, then get them to squeeze through tiny gates onto the Start. It was a complete shit show, caused bottle necks galore, lots of runners couldn’t get into their allotted pens.

They put the adults back in charge last year and it returned to its usual issue free start. But not content with that, they decided to let the kid who eats crayons and start fires to have another go at organising this years. 

‘Hey, Charlie, remember that thing that didn’t work in 2022? Let’s do it again. It’ll work this time. Honest. Pass me another crayon. And a lighter.’

Luckily, I did bother reading this year’s Guide and pre-empted this clusterfuck. So, I decided to go early. Already there were queues to get onto the Town Moor. This happens when you’re trying to squeeze several thousand people through one tiny kicking gate, just like you did in 2022 you clowns. Now, because I got there early, I was able to easily go to the toilet and get stuff on the Baggage buses, granted. However, reading and hearing stories from those that got there just a bit later, both things got far too busy and very painful.

I’m early, I’ve peeded about 17 times, and my stuff is on the bus. So I think, sod it, let’s just get into my Pen. Again, as I’m early, I walk straight through the Orange Wave gate they have set up. In the days after the event, I see some pictures taken of how crowded and dangerous this gate got, with runners trying to squeeze through it. 

It didn’t work in 2022, it hasn’t worked in 2024, don’t do it in 2025. Stay away from Crayons.

Now we’re past the bad bits, let’s get to the good stuff! I’m in Orange Wave D. Quite near the front. I’m almost Elite. Not quite. My mate Phil is in Wave B and I spot him through the fencing, so we have a good catch up which kills a bit of time. I then get into my Pen and I’m feeling pretty good. It’s misty. Rain is forecast. You fucking beauty!

Alright, hang on, I know I said that was the end of the bad stuff, but there is one more thing at the start I wasn’t a fan of. I found the atmosphere as flat as a fart. Over the past couple of years they’ve brought onboard Heart FM to do the pre-run entertainment. I’ve nothing against Heart FM, it’s not my bag, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t stick on Heart 90s every so often and sing along to some SVW. But by Christ they are crap at this.

It used to be that once the Starter Gun went, they would blast up-tempo music to keep everyone motivated, while we wait the 30 minutes (or much longer) before getting to the start line. This year, silence. Total silence, other than some tedious Heart FM DJ air filling chats. I counted one of them say ‘look out there at all those smiling faces’ about 30 times. God help those at the back in the Pink Wave.

Anyway, I only have to endure 29 minutes of Smashy and Nicey talking shite and I’m over the line and off. Special mention to my long term Nemesis and local DJ Alan Robson at this point. His shouting of random diseases was missing this year in the Pen. I’ve slagged him off no end for this in the past, but I kind of missed him. I realise just past the line though that he is still doing it, just we now can’t hear him till we get past the Heart FM shit patter lads. He’s a welcome sight for once, apart from the Man Bun. You’re 70 Alan. It’s not a good look mate.

Ah yes, running. Already I feel like this is going to be a good run. I feel loose, have energy, and I’ve already settled into my target pace (8:40ish). That rain that was forecast has started. It’s good rain as well. Not torrential, not cold, no wind. The running Gods are finally looking down favourably on me. 

As always, I stay right, so I go over the Central Motorway rather than under it. I’ve written about this in the past, but it’s the best starting side. Not just because it’s the one the Elite prefer either. I’m not trying to be a fat Kipchoge cosplay, there is a sensible reason for it. If you choose left and go under, the GPS on your device goes completely doolaly tap. You have no idea what your pace is. You don’t know whether you’re pushing yourself or walking. This goes on for nearly 2 miles. Up and down like the Mackems. The danger of going out too fast is very real. Stay right, go over kids, ok?

I’m on the Tyne Bridge now and it feels far less congested than usual. I think this is down to having a good starting Pen and getting in fairly near the front of it. It does make all the difference at the GNR. The further back you are, the more crowded the field is. I mean, it’s already crowded at this point, but nowhere near as bad as it will get further back.

So we’re past the fun bit and onto the beige bit. From here to the Coast, it’s dual carriagewaytasticwith lots of small climbs. Flat course my arse. However, it feels different this year. Easier? That’s a bit of a wanky word. More comfortable I would say. It doesn’t seem as hard work as usual. It’s mile 5 and…well…I think I might be enjoying the GNR again.

Despite the rain, the crowds as always are fantastic. They cheer you on, they spur you on, rain or shine, they’re out and they support everyone. I am biased, I was born and raised round here, but we’re great at this. Criticise the GNR all you want. It’s too expensive, yep. Too many people run it, yep. It’s too corporate, yep. They are always trying to find ways to fleece more money out of you by selling tat, yep, yep, yep.

But I will die on a hill defending it as the People’s race. Not just for the crowds, but also for those who take part. It’s the start of so many running journeys (mine included) and its importance to the North East can’t be underestimated. Is it a huge money-making machine? Absofuckinglutely. But I couldn’t give a shite. 

Now I’ve got that off my chest, back to the run. My least favourite part of the course is coming up. Mile 9. Anyone who has ever run the GNR before will know this part of the course. It’s the start of the John Reid road. I’ve never really found out who John Reid is. Possibly a masochist if his road is anything to go by. 

This is the part of the course where usually I tend to die a little. Physically and mentally. It will be the tester to see if I really am running as well as I think I am. It will be the part of the course that will let me know if I’m going to continue enjoying this till the end.

You take a right turn at the roundabout and suddenly you’re hitting the climb of John Reid road. It’s not a steep climb. It’s just long and constant. It’s a busy part of the course as well. Littered with water stations and toilets, you have to be careful dodging discarded bottles, as well as runners cutting across the course to grab a drink/take a shit. Basically, the Bigg Market on a Saturday night.

I decide to attack it. I know, what an idiot. However, that’s a good sign. I’m not as knackered as I usually am at this point. I start at the bottom. Feel good. Halfway up. I’m still feeling good. Get to the top. By cracky, I’m alive. Not just alive, like not really that tired. I’m going to enjoy the last 4 miles. I’m going to enjoy the GNR.

Even the climb up Prince Edward road before we drop onto the Coast, usually a real slog after the John Reid road has half killed me, is far more bearable than any previous year. I am feeling it a bit, I’m not going to lie. But it’s a good tired, not a fucked tired.

I drop on to the Sea front for the last mile and again, this is the best I’ve ever felt on this last stretch. I even up the pace a bit as I feel like I’ve got it in me. I get over the line in 1:53:47. The quickest I’ve ever run the GNR. I hit the real Half Marathon time in 1:52 ish. So all in all, a good day. I went out with a target pace of 8:40, I managed to keep it comfortable at 8:36.

Free photo tastic

Now to the most important bit. Eating my weight in shite at the Charity Tent. As always, they put on a cracking spread, and I don’t need a second invite to eat it. Race run. Money raised. Face filled. Job done.

I’m on the Ferry back before you know it and in the house before tea. It really couldn’t have worked out better or gone more to plan. Even my race pictures are pretty good this year. I especially like this one of me BEASTING it over the line at the end. 

Beast

The only negative? It’s bound to be shitter next year.

The wanky stat bit

Hopes and Expectations

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‘Are you crying? Are you crying? ARE YOU CRYING? There’s no crying! THERE’S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL!’

Jimmy Dugan, A League of Their Own

Last year’s post where I set my goals for 2023 got pretty deep and philosophical. You’ll be thankful to know there’ll be no such soppy nonsense this year. No, there’s no pissing about this year. After last years queuing up of Draft Posts I never published, this is New Year, New Me hun.

This year I’ve got a real dilemma. 2023 was an excellent year for my running, debatably my best. There is a danger I’ll fill 2024 with the kind of unrealistic bollocks that will take out the enjoyment, whilst setting me up to fail. I mean, where is the motivation in that?

No, this year we’re not going to be setting any high bars. We’re going to limbo into 2024, oiled up, bar on fire, with Cascada’s ‘Evacuate the Dancefloor’ blasting out. Or was that a dream I once had. It doesn’t really matter, the point is – Hopes and Expectations. Things I know are achievable, things I can look forward to doing with no pressure. No running up Mountains, across Deserts, and most importantly of all – no fucking Cross Country.

I give you then, drum roll please, the goals of 2024..

  • Run 1,000 miles – Having hit just shy of 1,400 in 2023, it would be tempting to have a go at 1,500 in 2024. I tried to work out how much more I would need to do per month to hit that. I think I worked out I would need to add on 12 miles a month. It doesn’t sound too much – break it down some more and it’s 3 more miles a week. But you know the problem? I can’t be arsed.
  • Run a Half Marathon – As I write, I’m yet to sign up for a Half Marathon. Shocking. I’m not sure why to be honest. I’ve usually got my Charity GNR place by now, but for some reason I’ve just not got round to it. I’m sure I will, let’s just wait for payday (£65 for place in the GNR, scandalous). I’m also flirting with Kielder again, but it went so well last year I worried that it will be shit and I’ll hate it if I do it again.
  • Run the Brampton to Carlisle 10 miler – The alternative to running a second Half Marathon, is to run this 10 mile race held in November. This one is very tempting, and I nearly did it last year, but was still half dead from Kielder. There are loads of pluses to this race. It’s a new run for me, it’s 10 miles rather than 13, my running club organise a bus there and back, my running club usually go to the pub straight after. I think I’ve probably already talked myself into this one if I’m honest.
  • Race in the Club Grand Prix – When I first found out my Running Club organised a Grand Prix every year, I was well up for it. Racing round the track at 200mph in a top of the range F1 car, what isn’t to like? Apparently, it’s not that kind of Grand Prix. 8 races run monthly from August to March, this is a well oiled machine of a competition where you compete in Teams of 8 and are handicapped based on your last result. The idea is that everyone finishes at about the same time, with the ‘slower’ runners released first, then the ‘faster’ ones let out to hunt everyone down last. I’m halfway through this years and I’ve enjoyed it far more than I thought. For those wanting to know, my Handicap is that I’m short and fat.
  • Run on Holiday – In May, I’m off to Zante. No, not Laganas for those of you who know it. I’m far too old for that nonsense. I’ve been to this resort a few times before, but not for a few years. Having successfully ran in Menorca twice, I’ve decided to do the same again in Greece. Well, that’s the plan. Mythos and Moussaka might kill the shit out of it. Just to add to this, I now travel with work (get me) and have been ramming my running gear into my overnight bag. Last year I got out for morning runs in London and Glasgow. I’m possibly, fingers crossed, off to Warsaw with work this year. If I do, you’ve guessed it, Google Maps and finding room for my Trainers…
  • Yoga Everyday – I’m not getting any younger. I creek. I make noises when I have to bend over to pick something up. Not just bone or joint noises, but noises with my mouth, like the noises my daughter used to make when she was a toddler and trying to concentrate on something. During the Pandemic I did what a lot of people did because they were bored and had too much time on their hands, I tried something new. My something new was Yoga. At first I was like Bambi on Ice, or Shola Ameobi if you ever saw him play (love you Shola). Once I got the hang of it though, I really saw the benefits. One of which was that I was far less sore, creeky, and injured. Now I’m not saying I don’t click like a snapped twig every time I reach for something in the cupboard, but it has definitely helped. Since then, I’ve tried to do Yoga as much as possible. So I’ve decided 2024 is the year of doing a bit every day. I’ll be like Stretch Armstrong by June. Ask your Dad.

Aaaaaaand we’re done. All very positive, all very achievable. Maybe not the Yoga, but God loves a trier.

2024, I am in you.

The 2023 Christmas Special

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‘Oh, oh look, Frank! It’s a toaster!’

The Ghost of Christmas Present, Scrooged

As I write, the weather outside is frightful all right. And not in a roasting chestnuts round an open fire way either. It’s windy and it’s pissing down. Runners Kryptonite. I also think I have COVID, which is so 2020. Well, this is a depressing start to the Christmas special. Ho Ho Fucking Ho.

I’m a glass half full kind of guy though, so I’m not letting the last week of the year put a dampener on what has been a cracking 12 months of running for me. There have been a tonne of positives in 2023, most of which are sitting unfinished in Drafts because I’m too busy/useless to finish them. They’ll be great when they’re finished though, I promise.

Without further or do then, how did those goals I set at the start of the year go? Well..

  • Update the notbuilttorun website – As predicted, this has gone tits up. Ironically, I’ve had one of my busiest running years ever so lots to write about. But I’ve also had one of my busiest working years ever as well. If this was a school report, it would state ‘must do better.’ In fact, I think most of mine did say that. I was once told in a Work Appraisal that ‘he consistently fails to fulfill his potential.’ I could never tell whether that was a compliment or not.
  • Run 1,000 miles – Since 2018, I’ve hit the 1,000 miles mark every year. It’s always a nice target that I like to aim for. This year, I finished on 1,365 miles. When I checked back, this is my highest running total of any year ever. No wonder my hip hurts.
  • Get a PB – Now, I popped this in more out of hope than anything else, but it somehow delivered. Although, this one is more of a ‘sort of’ PB. I ran my fastest ever NT10k back in Easter, in a pretty nifty 51:51 (that’s nifty for me). It also my second fastest 10k ever. So bollocks, I’m claiming it.
  • Run a Half Marathon – Achieved not once, but twice. I completed the usual GNR in Sept (I’ve decided to take a fallow year of reviewing it) and then also, for the first time, the Kielder Half (review sitting in drafts, gathering dust, to be birthed sometime in 2024). The Kielder Half was both the hardest and most rewarding course I’ve ever run and up there with my greatest running achievements, but more of that in the review to follow.
  • Run longer than 13.1 miles – Yeah. No. Next year, honest.
  • Run a Race in a Club Vest – I churned out two runs in a club vest and, say it quietly, it may contain some sort of magical powers. I PBd the NT10k in its first outing (more on that here) and then put in a belter of a run in it at the Kielder Half. I might need to crack it out more often in 2024, although this does increase my club wanker status.
  • Run on Holiday – As mentioned in my mid year review, I was that sad bastard who took his running gear on a family holiday to Menorca and went for early morning runs. I’m not sure whether to brag or blush about that.

In the main then, pretty positive. Lots of miles, good races, some excellent club sessions, and all done injury free (jinx). I’ve also managed to go for runs in Glasgow and on the London Embankment whilst traveling with work. Again, the club wanker in me is starting to go next level.

With that, it’s time to bask in the glory of 2023 and look forward to 2024. I’ll once again set some goals, but I’ll wait until I’m not off my tits on a combination of COVID, Lemsip and Black Sheep. Just in case I decide in a drugged up haze to set a target of 2,000 miles and sign up for an Ultrarun.

Enjoy your Christmas, however you celebrate or spend it. I’m sure I will, once my sense of taste returns..