“My mother used to say: The older you get, the better you get. Unless you’re a banana.”
Rose, The Golden Girls

I’ve confessed in the past on here to being one of those sad sacks who takes his running gear with him when travelling. I’ve gone for multiple runs in Spain and Greece. I nearly even once entered the Zante Half Marathon whilst on a family holiday. I didn’t in the end, after my wife persuaded me not to. The kind of persuasion that involves violence and the loss of my bollocks.

In hindsight, I’m quite glad I was ‘talked’ out of that one. It seemed like a good idea on paper. But as I lay by the pool under clear blue skies, with the Temperature hitting the late 20s, I realised it was inactuality a proper shit idea. So, I ordered another cold Mythos and gave myself a cheers to celebrate my testicles still being attached to my body.

Since changing my job a couple of years back, I now from time to time get out and about on Office visits around the country. Or as my wife calls them, massive fucking jollies. As such, I’ve also added Edinburgh, Glasgow and London to my running locations. Hardly Kenya or Boston, but still not bad for a pleb who grew up in North Shields. 

So as soon as I was told I’d be visiting my colleagues in the Warsaw Office in Poland, I had Google Maps open, the Measure Distance tool activated, and a pair of Brooks packed in a suitcase before you could say Dziękuję.

So, fast forward to a Sunday morning in September. I’m sitting in the Departure Lounge Bar of Newcastle Airport, supping a cold Guiness and listening to a Hen Do in the corner, all of whom are already half wankered by 8am and murdering ‘Toxic’ by Britney Spears. Makes you proud to be British. 

As I live in the North East of England, a 3rd World country to those living in London, I can’t get a direct flight to Warsaw. I have to catch a connection. Thankfully, work have organised me to go via Amsterdam, rather than Heathrow. That place turns your snot black. Once in the Dam (well, Schiphol Airport) I meet up with two of my colleagues and we’re off to Poland.

First interesting cultural observation. The Poles like to clap when their plane lands. I’m not sure why. I ask my hosts later in the week, but whilst they admit it’s a thing, they don’t really know why either. One thing I’ve learnt from working with these guys over the years, they have a cracking sense of humour. My guess is the clapping is a rib. They don’t do it for any other reason than to confuse us all. Fair play to them.

I won’t lie, my hotel is cracking. Right in the centre of the Warsaw Corporate district, on al.Jana Pawla II. Which translates as John Paul II Avenue. His Popeness himself. As a product of a 90s Catholic school education system, JP was my Pope. We had a signed photo of him in our Assembly Hall, which I used to find equally amusing and disturbing. I’ve massively denounced my Catholicism as an adult, but he was a cracking keeper, so fair play to him

The plan is to get up early pre-breakfast and run whilst it’s quiet. I’m bang in the middle of a capital city, so I want to try and avoid heavy traffic and those pesky pedestrians. I find out from this first run that only one of these things will be true. Sunday evening is spent on a short stroll with Colleagues and a quick bite to eat, before an early night.

Monday morning I’m up, out, and ready to run for 5:45am. I used to be cool. One bonus for this week is the weather. We’re in the last week of September, but the forecast is for it to be around 23-25°C every day for the duration. Which means at this time in the morning it’s already a balmy 13°C, dry and calm. It’s a perfect morning for running.

Thanks to Google Maps (this is twice I’ve praised them in this post, if they want to sponsor me) I note that there is a park about 200 metres from my hotel. Then another 200 metres from that is an even bigger park and what looks like a Public Square. These seem like a good starting point to explore. Safe, close, and I can’t get lost. 

I start my run in the Park and already something that will become a theme of my trip here is obvious. It’s really clean. No rubbish. It’s spotless. This Park turns out to be called the Mier Park (or Mirowski in Polish). I run straight up the middle of it from one end to the other and there’s no one about apart from a few hardy dog walkers. It isn’t quiet though. The row of trees above me are full of crows and they are going ape shit. Like, Hitchcock film crackers.

I notice on the ground in various places there are Metal markings with writing on. It’s too dark to read exactly what they say, but when I return to have a walk around here later in the daylight, I’m shocked to discover these are boundary markers for the Jewish Ghetto. 

Another recurring theme of the week, this is a beautiful city with a brutal past. Here I am running round a charming park that just over 80 years ago was hell on earth. It makes you think, it makes you humble.

The Park isn’t big, so I’m out of it quite quickly. There is a main road between this and the next park. And I mean a main road. Four lanes of traffic and two lanes of Tram. My Polish colleagues warned me on their visit to the UK that crossing the road on a red is death by Firing Squad over here. Or something. So I don’t fuck about and stop and wait.

This next Park is even more spectacular. This is the Saxon Gardens, the oldest park in Warsaw. Again it’s clean and it’s lined with magnificent Horse Chestnut Trees. There are Conkers everywhere, so many that I can’t avoid them and I end up crunching them underfoot. It breaks my heart.

I pass a substantial fountain and then, something very random appears. It’s the tomb of the unknown solider. It’s just gone 6am, yet there are two guards standing over it. Turns out, it’s guarded 24 hours, with a change of shift on the hour. Bet everyone loves getting the 4am shift in the middle of pissing rain in January. It is a magnificent sight though.

I pass it, very respectfully, as I’m aware there are two tooled up Poles just a few feet from me. Once I am past it, I’m onto a big square. This, it turns out, is the sight of the Saxon Palace. Another theme here, a once fantastic Warsaw landmark flattened by those bastard Nazis and Russians.

I do a couple of laps or so of this, then head back the same way I came to the Hotel. 3.5 miles without wandering too far, perfect conditions, and already some great sightseeing.

After a great day at work (no, really) and a nice wander about the modern part of the city after, I plot the next day’s run back at the hotel. Now I feel like I have my bearings, I’m more confident about going out further without getting lost.

I discover that I can go the same way I did on the first day, continue on a little bit further when I get to the Square, and I’ll be on to the Vistula River. There and back, 4 mile. Very doable.

Next morning, I’m again up and out for 5:40am. Seriously man. It’s the same as yesterday, the two lovely parks and onto the Square/site of the Palace. This time though, I continue straight over, and suddenly it’s a sharp down hill (uh-oh) as we head to the River.

The Warsaw University campus is down here, but it’s dead. It is 6am though. Only complete idiots are down here at this time. I’m on to the Riverside, run along it a short while till I hit 2 miles, then turn for home. I stop to take a photo before heading back. The sun is starting to rise and it’s a lovely sight looking East. I spot what looks like a Stadium over the other side of the River. More on that when we get to Thursday.

Unfortunately, what goes down, must come up, and the climb back from the River to the town is steeper than I thought. It’s tough going. On the plus side, another 4 mile , and I’ve earned my Hotel breakfast.

That evening we venture into the Old Town. Basically, the tiny part of Warsaw those bastard Nazis again didn’t destroy during the Uprising. It’s a beautiful part of the City, but again, tinged with a horrible past. It seems like every building I look at has a plaque on it, marking the spot the bastard Nazis rounded up Poles to shoot them.

The Old Town itself is also quite near the Square/Palace, reachable on a run from my Hotel, so I decide this will be where I head on Wednesday morning.

It’s 5:40am again, it’s another lovely morning, and I’m through the two Parks and over the Square. I’m practically a local now. A left at the Square and I’m into the Old Town. I just do a loop of it, but make sure I run along the old defensive wall. To think, again, that the Poles were defending this for their lives 80 years ago, is difficult to comprehend or even do justice.

Another nice run, another 4 miles. Another well earned Breakfast. Although they don’t seem to do Bananas in Poland.

That night, my hosts take me to a traditional Communist Cuisine restaurant. I have the Cabbage and Mushroom Dumplings, and immediately get the urge to overthrow the Government. Once that settles, it’s back to my Capitalist Hotel and plotting the next mornings run.

I mentioned that on my run down to the river, I spotted what looked like a Stadium on the other side. It’s the Stadion Narodowy, Polands national stadium. Home of the National football team and apparently, among other things, Taylor Swift concerts.

It’s also not as far away as I think. Same route down to the river as Tuesday, then over the river on a Pedestrian Bridge, before a straight road to the Stadium. 3 mile, a 6 mile round trip.

As luck would have it, on my final day there is no rush to get out and back. I’m not going into the office, as I’m leaving late morning for the airport. So loads of time to fit a 10k in.

Having said that, I’m up and out again for the usual 5:45am. The struggle is real though, as I may have sampled a few of the local beers the night before. I’ll sleep on the plane(s).

So, same drill as Tuesday, Parks, Square, drop down, past the Uni and onto the River. This time however, once on the River I take a left towards the Bridge. This is quite a new bridge (opened March 2024, only 6 months prior). It doesn’t even appear on Google Maps as it wasn’t built yet. My Strava afterwards will also ignore it, looking to all like I just catapulted myself across. Just to prove it exists, I took a photo whilst on it, looking back towards the City. Lovely.

Once over, I take a right and follow quite a busy dual carriageway. The morning commute is already in full swing and the roads are as busy as you’d expect for a Capital city. It’s pretty unremarkable however, until I suddenly hit the Stadium.

It is quite a spectacular site. I stop to take a picture, but I can’t really get that close to it. It’s fenced off with a gate open, so I’m not sure if I’m allowed to go in. I have a rule when it comes to these things – if I’m in a country where the police are armed, don’t fuck about and find out. With that, I turn and head back, following the exact route out. 6 mile.

And there we have it. 17.5 miles over 4 days. I was here for work, not as a tourist, yet thanks to running I’ve been able to explore a good chunk of it I otherwise wouldn’t have been able to. It’s been a productive trip work wise, but packing my running shoes has added another dimension. Thanks Warsaw, I will be back.

Just as a finishing footnote, I am back on Social Media. No, not that one, but Bluesky. It might be great, it might be shite, but at least it isn’t the cesspool that is the other place. You can now follow me here, if it’s your thang.