“It’s 106 miles to Chicago. We’ve got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark, and we’re wearing sunglasses.”

Elwood Blues, The Blues Brothers

So, it begins. I know. Another wanker chronicling his Marathon training. Big wow. Bore off. I get it, I don’t blame you. This one, the first one, will also be the longest. I’m really not selling this.

However, for my own sanity I’ve decided to record how training is going. When it’s good, when it’s shit, when I feel like I’ve made a huge mistake.

Getting it down on ‘paper’ I’m hoping will help the process. It’s a chance for me to take a breath and reflect, maybe give myself a potentially much needed ra-ra speech.

Most importantly of all, I’m hoping I’ll be able to look back at these when it’s all over and laugh. Even at the parts where I’m blatantly crying for help.

My coach at the club is sending across my plan in 4 week blocks. The idea being, I don’t look ahead to week 9 now and shit myself. It’s a good strategy. I like it. My original plan with the blogs was to make them 4 weekly, but halfway through week 2 I noticed I was writing a novel. So, weekly it will be.

There’s your foreword, now let’s get cracking.

WEEK 1: JAN 13TH – 19TH

If ever there was a reminder that this is going to be far simpler on paper than reality, then welcome to Week 1. I have picked one of the shittest weeks to start training.

Usually, my life is pretty boring and routine focused, which is absolutely fine by me. I’ve massively cut down my alcohol consumption over the past few years, so other than a match day I’m not one for popping to the pub with my cat and a copy of the Racing Post.

This week though.

The lead up to the week is also not as I planned. I pop out for my usual long run on Saturday morning, my last before I switch to a Sunday. I decide to go out on a bang and try a Half. We’re in a cold snap, and there’s a ground frost, but all very runnable.

I get on the Wagonway and I feel great. My pace is pretty good, and mentally this is going to set me up nicely for the weeks ahead. I leave the Wagonway at Percy Main and, suddenly, everything changes. It’s a little bit slippier. It appears to have turned from frost into ice.

I head into Shields and this is getting worse, to the point where I’ve moved onto the roads. Although, they aren’t much better.

Then it happens.

I feel my feet go and I slide majestically on my arse along the path. I’m not hurt at all. I actually did this gracefully and quite magnificently if I don’t say so myself. The biggest plus though, is that there is no one around to see it.

I decide to continue running but to slow down. Round the corner, a car has skidded into the side of a truck. Everyone is ok, but it’s now obvious that there is black ice everywhere. I run on a little bit further, but after another close arse falling call at just shy of 9 miles, I call the whole thing off. I’m only three stops from home on the Metro so, safety first, I tip toe to the Station.

Disappointing, but these things happen. Hilariously, on my way to the Metro, a lady walking her dog slips. I go to check she’s ok, and she is, but then her dog bites me. Right on the fucking thigh. She’s very apologetic, but it absolutely knacks. Whilst it doesn’t draw blood, and I am wearing shorts and tights which probably help cushion it, it does leave quite a mark and a bruise.

It’s just not my morning.

Monday though starts well enough. Mondays are going to be ‘rest days.’ When I say rest, I mean no running. Instead, I have to work on my core strength. I already do a 30 minute online Yoga session every Monday evening. For the next 16 weeks, I’ll be adding on a 30 min weights session straight after.

I found a great ‘Runners Core Strength’ workout on the Nike App which I tried during the Christmas break. It was hard work but good work. Seeing as my upper body strength is as weak as a kitten, anything that involves weights is hard to me. I plan to also do this set on a Friday evening. I’ll be jacked like the Ultimate Warrior by May man.

Tuesday’s are going to be my only Club session of the week. I’ll be missing Thursdays and off doing Thresholds somewhere else. Tuesday is also my only speed session where I’m allowed to run fast. The biggest difference is going to be that I have to do a 3-4 mile warm up beforehand.

Surprisingly though, I really enjoy this first higher mileage Tuesday. I do a nice 3 mile plod and finish at the club, do another mile with everyone else, then a 400m rep session on the track. This is actually the best Track session I’ve had in months. I feel really strong. If every Tuesday is like this I’ll be delighted.

Wednesday is the start of where it gets a bit ‘complicated.’ I’m off to the match in the evening, so I get up to do my session pre work in the morning. It’s a 5 mile easy run. I’m not very good at ‘easy’ runs. I find it a bit of a slog, probably caused by not having the recovery time. But needs must.

Early Thursday I’m on a train to Scotland for work. It’s a team catch up and meal, but I’ve already decided that I’m not going to drink. What a boring bastard.

Thursdays are possibly going to be the most painful run of the week – Intervals. For this first session, I have to hit 10 x 4 min threshold intervals, with 2 min recoveries between. That can be a static rest, walk, or jog.

I know Glasgow fairly well now, so I’ve already planned where to complete this. Down by the Clyde, there is a perfect rectangular route that I can do, crossing two bridges. Clear, not many pedestrians, no roads to cross. Perfect.

Intervals are probably my least favourite training sessions. They feel like they go on forever. This one is no different. The route does turn out to be as perfect as I thought it would be, but it’s a slog on my own. I jog the recoveries, I find static recoveries don’t help me.

Friday morning I’m up early and outside the hotel by 6am. I need to complete 4 easy miles, with 10 x 10 second hills somewhere during it. The hotel is right next to a hill, so I decide to get those hills out the way early. They actually feel ok. The 4 easy miles though really are easy. I’m knackered. I head out to Celtic Park and back, then have the good old Premier Inn buffet breakfast. Burp.

Saturday I’m back home and it’s a change of routine I’ll need to get used to. No long runs on a Saturday. Instead, it’s a 5k threshold. I then go to the match, where Newcastle are utter shite, and like a good lad curtail my drinking as I know it’s long run time tomorrow.

Sunday morning is cold and icy. Bollocks. The cold I’ll deal with, the ice though can fuck right off. It’s a baptism of fire, as I have to do 14 miles at aerobic pace. At this juncture, I’m still not 100% sure what I’m aiming for Marathon time wise. I mean, my plan is set around a time, but I think I’ve been overly cautious.

Nevertheless, I go out for my slow 14 and the first 6 miles are a struggle mentally. I feel like I’m going at a glacial pace and that this is going to take forever. Those 6 miles seem to tick over slowly, even though my pace is actually slightly faster than it probably should be. Learning to slow down will come I’m sure, but early doors it’s hard getting my head around it.

The last 7 miles or so are ok though. I’ve settled into it, avoided most of the awful ice, and I finish up in 2:15. Not too shabby. I feel great as well, like I didn’t push myself hard, and when I finished I more than felt like I could have gone on.

Week one done.

Mood – optimistic